3 tips for good mental health at Christmas

It was Andy Williams’ Christmas classic that coined the phrase ‘it’s the most wonderful time of the year’, but in reality, the festive season can be particularly difficult for many people. Here’s how to have good mental health at Christmas. 

A 2016 survey from Relationships Australia uncovered that around one third of Australians found a lack of work/life balance had a negative impact on their family relationships at Christmas time in particular, with around the same amount citing financial worries causing tension as well. Other sources of stress included spending time with in-laws and extended families, and the pain of being separated from children or managing blended families at this time of year. 

Add in a few years of a global pandemic and an ever-growing cost-of-living crisis, and it’s fair to assume those percentages would only have increased in the past six years since the original study. 

Mental health risk factors during the holidays

Rachel Tomlinson, registered psychologist and clinical manager at online psychology service My Mirror says Christmas is a common trigger for all kinds of existing mental health concerns. 

“Anecdotally, many clients report lack of support over the holiday period, as usual service close down or run on restricted hours,” she explains. 

“In addition to this, past family trauma can be triggering for those who are exposed to extended family during holiday gatherings. A focus on food and eating in group settings can be confronting/uncomfortable for those with past or present disordered eating, and for those who are isolated or estranged from family for a variety of reasons (geographical, financial or travel restrictions, conflict), the holidays can be particularly challenging.”

Tomlinson adds that grief and loss, or experiencing Christmas for the first time without a loved one present can also add to the above list in order to lower resilience and increase stress during the period.

1. How to protect your mental health

Preparation is key to protecting yourself and your state of mind from potential Christmas derailment, says Tomlinson.

“This might include finding Telehealth services or alternate services that don’t shut down over Christmas in case support is needed – for example My Mirror has psychologists available across the entire December/January period,” she says. “You can access consultations with a psychologist through InstantScripts.”

“It might also be about putting in place boundaries in advance, like declining invites, or only agreeing to stay for a certain time. There are also practical plans you can put in place such as chatting with your support network and arranging check-ins, organising catch-ups or even finding alternate activities that give meaning and fulfilment.”

2. The power of reframing

Tomlinson says a useful exercise can be reframing negative or unhelpful thoughts in a different light when they come up over the period.

“The biggest way we can mitigate stress or low mood is by understanding what triggers us, and how it makes us react,” she says. 

“That way we can plan or create a roadmap to survive the day. Try to catch any unhelpful thoughts or unrealistic expectations and reframe them – because our thoughts can directly influence the way we feel and then how we react and behave.”

She suggests, for example, reframing financial worry, and the stress of not being able to buy enough/any gifts for loved ones into a more positive awareness that monetary value doesn’t equate to love, instead considering the ways in which you can meaningfully connect or show love in non-material ways.

3. Boundaries are non-negotiable 

One of the big issues a lot of us deal with at Christmas time is a family dynamic that may or may not serve us. It can be difficult to implement boundaries with certain family members, but Tomlinson says we should look at our emotional energy in a new light.

“It’s helpful to think about our emotional energy like a budget,” she explains, “each day we have a budget, and each day it’s different. Every activity has some kind of “cost” in relation to our emotional energy, so think about what is a good investment. What depletes our finances and leaves us with little energy? When we are aware of this we can intentionally choose how we ‘spend’ our energy.”

If you need support this holiday season or at any time, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit Beyond Blue. 

This article is authored by Bek Day, a writer and journalist with over 15 years of experience in the health and lifestyle space.